It's nice that so many companies are "committed to excellence." That's probably why life has seemed so much better for everybody lately. - hotdogsladies

Meals that take less than 5 minutes to prepare and consume are somewhat anticlimactic. - cruel_raspberry

from @MetalFatigue: He didn't need to look in the box to know the cat had vanished. The chihuahua's angry yip, though, came as a surprise. - ze frank's bedtime

I have not been to a literary reading for a long time. Was surprised by the amount to cell phone vid cam-ing. Really? BOOTLEG LIT READINGS? - hodgman

someone just mistook me for someone that gives a shit. - friskygeek

Black shirt, white tie and shadowstache: the official uniform of the cell phone salesman. - scottsimpson

Someone's either drinking cinnamon flavored coffee or wearing Eau de Bear Claw - my_name_here

Attention Anti-Jail Flyer Jerk: Your persistent spamming of my apartment has made me Pro-Jail. - meghann

having fløde havarti and crackers with pears and tea. this started as snack but i think i'll call it dinner. - mikeropology

grumbly that I have to register with the University of Auckland to download someone's thesis. Open spirit of science, my balls. - gnat

motherfuckers! I registered with their site and am still denied a 1984 thesis on the movement of molluscs "due to copyright restrictions" - gnat

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I'm pre-emptively nostalgic about using this adorable little iPhone v1, ca. 2007. It's screen is only 2-dimensional! How quaint! - lonelysandwich

just got back from visiting my grandmom. she asked about the fortress city of "mitsubishi" (a.k.a. machu picchu). - mikeropology

God, I hate "Keeps Explaining the Wine Guy." - hotdogsladies

Neighbors! Don't abandon your twitterfarms for plurk, the wells all run dry! O, for our forefathers' BBS acres. Stark, but stable, and free. - xenijardin

We fashioned lean-tos from blinking banner ads, and brewed eula bark into a sort of dark "rss" to warm us through the black nights. - xenijardin

You guys know that while there's nothing wrong with the gay people you see on TV, they're pretty unrepresentative of the rest of us, right? - plasticbagUK

My Twitter friends stream is increasingly turning into open mic night at the Comedy Barn. - jkottke

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Every time I climb into a hammock, I think how it's really just a big, swinging net. And I think, "God: please don't let me die in this." - Merlin Mann

“I couldn't think as slowly as you if I tried.” - Tom Coates

Been trying to "understand" Java scripts... I feel stupid. Going to watch a movie to make myself feel better. - Elena Ho

And I'm hungry. I feel stupid and hungry. Ugghhh!! - Elena Ho

Registration price for the Web 2.0 conference in Oct is $3600! Holy crap! - Jason Kottke

If you add a little coffee to the mix, insomnia converts to early rising. - Merlin Mann

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