The White House claimed a major victory in the war on terror today as al-Qaeda kingpin Osama bin Laden revealed that he no longer knows where he is.

Mr. bin Laden, appearing on a tape broadcast by the Arabic-language al-Jazeera network, said that he had not known his location for months and blamed his current predicament on the Internet mapping site Mapquest.com.

“Those Mapquest fools provided me with a map that is next to useless,” a visibly angry bin Laden says on the tape. “All it tells me is where the nearest Applebee’s is.”

Over the last week or so, a group called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth has been attacking me. Of course, this group isn’t interested in the truth – and they’re not telling the truth. They didn’t even exist until I won the nomination for president.

But here’s what you really need to know about them. They’re funded by hundreds of thousands of dollars from a Republican contributor out of Texas. They’re a front for the Bush campaign. And the fact that the President won’t denounce what they’re up to tells you everything you need to know—he wants them to do his dirty work.

Thirty years ago, official Navy reports documented my service in Vietnam and awarded me the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts. Thirty years ago, this was the plain truth. It still is. And I still carry the shrapnel in my leg from a wound in Vietnam.

As firefighters you risk your lives everyday. You know what it’s like to see the truth in the moment. You’re proud of what you’ve done—and so am I.

Of course, the President keeps telling people he would never question my service to our country. Instead, he watches as a Republican-funded attack group does just that. Well, if he wants to have a debate about our service in Vietnam, here is my answer: “Bring it on.”

I’m not going to let anyone question my commitment to defending America—then, now, or ever. And I’m not going to let anyone attack the sacrifice and courage of the men who saw battle with me.

Hudson has been an influential adviser to President Bush and a close friend of the White House political strategist Karl Rove since the late 1990s. Hudson first caught Rove's attention by publishing a study in Crisis in 1998 arguing that Republican candidates could make inroads among traditionally Democratic-leaning Catholic voters by focusing on regular churchgoers, a strategy that dovetailed with Bush's emphasis on "compassionate conservatism."

Hudson signed on as an adviser to Bush's 2000 presidential campaign. For the last four years, he has been a prominent participant in a weekly conference call held by the Republican National Committee each Thursday with influential Catholic supporters.

William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, said Hudson has played an almost indispensable role reaching out to Catholics for the White House.

Donohue said Hudson's resignation will inevitably set back the Bush campaign's efforts with Catholic voters. "He was the ultimate networker," Donohue said. "I think it will be hurt because of the ties that Deal had."

TRANSCRIPT OF FLIPPITY-FLOPPITY SEGMENT

George W. Bush has a funny way of flip-flopping on the issues.

He was against a Homeland Security Department. FLIP

Then he was for it. FLOP
He was against the McCain Feingold campaign finance bill. FLIP
But then he was for it. FLIP-FLOP
Bush said he was for free trade. FLIPPITY

But then he put on steel tariffs. FLOP

Then he was against the tariffs again. FLIPPITY FLOP

Bush said the states should decide about gay marriage. FLIPPITY

Then he was for changing the Constitution. FLIPPITY FLOP, OR IS IT FLOPPITY FLIP?

Bush said he would put mandatory caps on Carbon Dioxide. FLOOPITY

Then he said he wouldn’t. FLOOPPITY-FLEE

Bush said he’d leave no child behind. FLOPITTY

But refused to fund it, leaving millions of children of behind. BYE BYE POOR CHILDREN, WE’RE LEAVING YOU BEHIND, SORRY. OH, I CAN’T SEE YOU NOW, YOU’RE SO FAR BEHIND. I’VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU.

Bush said he against an independent 9/11 commission. FLIIIIIIIIIIIIIP

But then reluctantly agreed to one. FLOPPITY FLOOP

Bush said we were going to war in Iraq to disarm Saddam Hussein. FLIPPITY

But when it turned out there weren’t any WMD’s, he said the war was to fight al Qaeda. FLIPPITY-FLOPPITY

But then he admitted there was no evidence of ties between Saddam and al Qaeda FLIPPITY-FLOOPITY-FLOOP

So then he said the war was to bring Western style democracy to the entire Middle East. FLIPPITY-FLOOPITY-FLOP, FLOP FLOP FLOP FLOP

He said he wouldn’t invade Iraq without a vote in the UN. FLIP

But then he invaded without a vote. FLOPPITY FLOOP

But now he wants to UN to save his butt. (to tune of: Off to See the Wizard) FLIPPITY FLOPITTY FLOOP. FLIPPITY FLOPPITY FLOOP, FLIPPITY FLOPPITY, FLIPPITY FLOPPITY. FLIPPITY FLOPPITY FLOOP

He said he was ushering in an era of personal responsibility. FLIPPITY

But refuses to take responsibility for all his flip-flops. FLIPPITY BYE BYE BUSH. SEE YOU IN FLIPPITY FLOPPITY LAND – THAT’S RIGHT – CRAWFORD FLIPPITY FLOOP TEXAS. FLOOP FLOOP!

Mayor Michael Bloomberg, already under fire for his tough stance against anti-GOP protest groups, Monday suggested that First Amendment rights of free speech and free assembly are "privileges" that could be lost if abused.

Bloomberg, speaking to Republican National Convention volunteers in Manhattan, was trying to downplay concerns that protesters will disrupt this month's convention -- when he began articulating a broader constitutional vision.

"People who avail themselves of the opportunity to express themselves ... they will not abuse that privilege," he said at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. "Because if we start to abuse our privileges, then we lose them, and nobody wants that." [...]

"The right to protest is not nor has it ever been a privilege -- it is a constitutionally protected right that everybody in this country enjoys," said Leslie Cagan, head of United for Peace and Justice, which has locked horns with the city over its attempt to stage a 250,000-person protest in Central Park. "I have no idea what he's talking about. I'm completely flabbergasted." [...]

The online dictionary, Law.com, defines a privilege as a "special benefit, exemption from a duty, or immunity from penalty, given to a particular person, a group or a class of people."

A right, on the other hand, is defined as a "an entitlement to something, such as ... freedoms of speech, press, religion, assembly and petition," according to the online law dictionary.

And now I ask: Is it time to repeal the First Amendment? Have partisan journalists finally forfeited their right to free speech? I'm starting to think so.

Iraqi police have threatened to kill every journalist working in the holy city of Najaf, where US forces are locked in a tense stand-off with Moqtada al-Sadr's Mehdi Army.

After a series of veiled warnings to leave on Sunday, two marked police cars pulled up at dusk outside the Sea of Najaf hotel on the outskirts of town, where Arab and Western journalists are staying.

Ten uniformed policemen walked into the hotel and demanded that the al-Arabiya, Reuters and AP correspondents go with them.

Journalists told them they were not there, but the policemen found and arrested Ahmed al-Salahih, the al-Arabiya correspondent, who the day before had been given a special exemption from the earlier eviction orders.

A uniformed lieutenant then told the assembled journalists and hotel staff: "We are going to open fire on this hotel. I'm going to smash it all, kill you all, and I'm going to put four snipers to target anybody who goes out of the hotel. You have brought it upon yourselves."

After pushing and shoving in the foyer, another policeman pointed his gun towards a member of the staff, but was disarmed by an Arab television journalist.

The police left, taking the al-Arabiya correspondent with them, drove 300m and fired warning shots. [...]

In the streets outside the shrine, terrified Iraqis hid inside their homes, with intermittent fire between the US tanks and Mehdi Army guerillas, who have planted huge booby traps on almost every street. Few ordinary Najafis will now stray beyond their doorsteps.

The McDonald's global marketing vision goes well beyond Olympic sponsorship, Light said. There are plans to raise global brand awareness through music, fashion and entertainment, too. The fast-food chain recently unveiled a partnership with Sony that enables customers to download songs from the Internet. It has created a line of children's clothes called "McKids" and has opened 15 children's stores in China that sell McDonald's-themed books, videos, toys and outfits. Electronic games are in production.

Says Light: "Our strategy is to develop McDonald's as a lifestyle brand -- not just as a food brand."

Brace yourself. A lifestyle brand is my least favorite kind of brand. The more the term "lifestyle" is used to describe a brand, the less quality is inherent in said brand.

Me: in order to view olympic highlights on the nbc site you have to be a visa cardholder, and enter your number

Friend: uhh....
Friend: that's weird
Friend: why's that?

Me: because the olympics are now run by Corpotron

Friend: hmm
Friend: I don't much care for that [...]

Me: i have a visa card, but i value my privacy enough to just watch the rerun at 2
Me: they may not have that much information about me

Friend: yeah

Me: i mean fuck, why even have a firewall?

Friend: that's why they ask nicely... and your reward is seeing sporting events you should be allowed to see anyway

Me: i think i'm gonna go put flyers with my credit card number on them in people's mailboxes

Friend: send me one

Me: sure!
Me: why not?

Friend: there are a few things I'd like to buy and some popups I'd like to send you

Me: not a problem. i'm already watching the olympic highlights after all. i practically ASKED for it. next thing you know, i'll be raped while wearing jeans. i'm interminable.

Friend: haha

Me: i can't believe nbc is resorting to porn site tactics

With evidence mounting of plans for widespread vote-rigging in Afghanistan's upcoming elections, U.S. experts say the controversy could emerge as a serious liability for U.S. President George W. Bush's re-election campaign.

After voter registration centers closed across Afghanistan on the weekend, election officials acknowledged the number of voting cards issued far exceeded the estimated number of eligible voters — and that the illegal practice of multiple registrations is widespread.

"An Afghan election marred by allegations of fraud would be bad for President Bush's overall claim of promoting democracy in the Muslim world," said Husain Haqqani, an Afghanistan expert at the Washington-based Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. "In the absence of good news from Iraq, the Bush administration needs Afghanistan as its success story." [...]

In separate interviews, two Afghans told the Star it was easy to obtain more than one card. One man who registered six times, using his real name and photograph, said U.N. election workers asked him only once if he had previously registered. A woman said her nephew had been approached at school numerous times to sell his laminated voting card and that she knows a woman who obtained 40 cards while cloaked in a burqa.

The blatant violation of election rules has prompted two presidential candidates — Latif Pedram, leader of the Congress Mili Afghanistan Party and independent candidate, Ahmad Shah Amadzai — to call for an investigation.

Overall, the registration process has been rife with many problems: 12 election workers were killed; Afghans confused their voter ID cards for food rations and prescriptions; men forbade wives, sisters and daughters from getting voting cards; and many uneducated people simply don't understand what their first election is about. Originally scheduled for last June, the election has twice been postponed — first due to low registration turnout and later because of security concerns.

So it's no surprise that hardened electronic activists are planning to jam up the servers of georgewbush.com, rnc.org, and related websites, once the Republican National Convention gets underway on August 29. "We want to bombard (the Republican sites) with so much traffic that nobody can get in," said CrimethInc, a member of the so-called Black Hat Hackers Bloc.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Kids throwing rocks stirred up more trouble than they bargained for when they dislodged a swarm of bees from an enormous hive built in the wall of a Southern California apartment building, authorities said on Friday.

An estimated 120,000 bees held residents of the apartment building and nearby homes hostage in Santa Ana, California after the children pelted their 500 pound (227 kg) hive with rocks on Thursday, Santa Ana Fire Captain Steve Horner said. [...]

Firefighters cordoned off a four-block area to allow the bees to calm down and return to their hive. An exterminator later fogged the hive and vacuumed out 40,000 dead bees, then set a trap for returning worker bees, of which about 80,000 were captured, Horner said.

The quarter-ton honeycomb, which may have accumulated inside the apartment wall for years, was so big it was threatening the structural integrity of the two-story building, Horner said.

Meet Ann Coulter. In her opinion, "liberals are racists", the French are "a bunch of faggots", only property owners should be allowed to vote, and anyone who disagrees with her is a "fatuous idiot" or "evil". [...]

Her next book, due out in October, is called How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must). And even this relatively emollient title is a concession. "They pushed this title on me," Coulter says when we meet at Orsay, a brasserie on the Upper East Side of New York. "All my titles were much more vicious. What I didn't like about How to Talk to a Liberal is that I really think the best way to talk to one is to hit them in the head with a baseball bat. So I threw in the parenthetical If You Must." [...]

Within minutes of our sitting down, the conversation turns to the position of expat Pakistanis in the social hierarchies of the Middle East. "They're never very high in anyone's caste system, are they," Ann volunteers. "Poor little Pakis." The photographer and I look at each other. Did she really say that? But it's just an amuse-bouche to prepare us for what is to come.

We move on to education. "To get into university without achievement or grades, you wanna have a name like Shafiqua, Jeffrika or Leroy," says Ann, who is not a fan of racial quotas. Learning difficulties are a cover for "rich parents with dumb kids". "That's why 'Pinch' Sulzberger, the publisher of The New York Times, is alleged to have dyslexia - because he's retarded. Do you guys even have dyslexia?" [...]

Yes, it's those pesky liberals again. "They're not only fascist where they live, they're expanding their fascism to the rest of America." Wouldn't this case be a constitutional issue (to do with the separation of church and state)? "That's what liberals say about everything, including sucking the brains out of little babies."

One thing can be said for Coulter: she does not worry about causing offence. When we talk about the "war on terror", she sounds almost nostalgic for the Cold War. "When we were fighting communism, OK, they had mass murderers and gulags, but they were white men and they were sane. Now we're up against absolutely insane savages." The insouciance with which she drops race into the mix is so astonishing that it's disarming. [...]

Why can't she say extremist Muslims rather than just Muslims? "If that'll make you happy. They slaughtered 3,000 people and I'm making unfair generalisations. I think we're even." Well, no, I don't think we're even, I begin to reply - and at this point I see a side of Ann Coulter that goes beyond the ludicrous opinions. I see someone who is not afraid to twist, distort, bully and lie in order to "win" her argument.

Before I can elaborate or finish my sentence, she's off again. "Oh no, you're right, a generalisation is so much worse than slaughtering 3,000 people." I'm not saying that, I say. "I can't go beyond that, an ethnic generalisation is worse than slaughter. That is the essence of liberalism, you really do believe that. You get a glass of wine in you and you spit it out. You heard it. Making an un-PC generalisation is worse than the attack of 9/11." I'm not saying that, I repeat. "Yes, you are, you just said it." Of course I don't think that, I start, before I'm cut off again. "Liar!" [...]

There's no one like her in Britain, I say, not even on the crazy fringes of the Tory party. "I know," she agrees, "it's horrifying what the Conservatives are in England. You make clear that I'm not one of them."

Is Ann Coulter a nutcase? If she is, she's one listened to and approved of by a frightening number of Americans. Surely, I say, hoping she will concede that she sometimes provokes to amuse, she doesn't believe everything she comes out with. "This is the shocking thing for your readers," she replies. "I believe everything I say."

Republican National Convention

Monday

(not televised by networks)

John McCain -- target of vicious Bush attacks in SC in 2000, gay, er, tolerant, war hero
Rudy Giuliani -- serial adulturer, pro choice, gay friendly, did not serve
Michael Bloomberg -- unpopular NYC mayor, pro choice, gay friendly, did not serve

Tuesday

Arnold Schwarzenegger -- sexual harrasser, pro choice, gay friendly
Rod Paige -- secretary of education, did not serve
Laura Bush

Wednesday

Zell Miller -- GA senator, turncoat, vet
Dick Cheney -- War coward. Eats babies. Shouldn't he headline the evening?
Lynne Cheney -- author of steamy anti-men lesbian romance novels.

Thursday

George Bush -- GOP prez nominee, hid in TX ANG during Vietnam, went AWOL, falls off bicycles.
George Pataki -- NY governor. Pro choice (at least rhetorically), gay friendly, did not serve

6:00pm - Opening prayer
6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer
6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers
6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon
7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan
7:15pm - Additional prayers
7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton
8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay
8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton
8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual
8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser Permanente
9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA)
9:15pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party
9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "the quads"
9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan
10:00pm - Chaney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go fuck himself
10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea (Bush: "Damn, the SOUTH is our ally. My bad.")
10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin
10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf
11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual
11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser
11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president
12:00pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am)
2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates

Best of all? Bush knows it. While Kerry has unleashed a message designed to rally a country, Bush has embarked on a campaign designed to motivate a Party. From appearances on fishing shows to ads in red states to wedge issues and testaments aimed at the churchgoers, this is a scared party. The loyalty oaths and clothing police only further the impression that they're barely able to speak to their own and totally unable to speak beyond them. Bush's plan for this election was to allow his success in the War on Terror to sweep over the land and carry him to victory; now that he's been battered and weakened by his own incompetency on the subject, he's flailing, hoping his general geniality and (again) professions of deep concern and courage will convince America. But, unlike his first run where he based his campaign on values and bipartisanship, this time, he's not speaking to America, he's only speaking to those cowering and aching to lash out.

His first, tentative steps into the wider ideological pool come in a couple weeks, when the Republicans hold a convention in a city that hates them, parading keynoters who don't represent them and trading on the memory of the attacks to forge a bond with voters. But, for better or worse, Americans are past that stage. We've mourned, we want a competent security apparatus and a president capable of strength, but we don't want to live in eternal terror. That's what he's offering and I see few buyers.

That sense of the race has hardly settled in among pundits or daily newspaper reporters, or if it has, it hasn't shown through in their copy. And yet here you have David Broder writing a column which, though it says many things, says mainly that President Bush is likely to be thrown out of office -- not because John Kerry is lighting the hustings on fire, but simply because President Bush's fundamental policy decisions have failed and voters are going to hold him accountable.

That perception, that conventional wisdom, once it takes hold, can have a poisonous effect on the efforts of the perceived loser. And when that perception begins to take hold among Republicans, if it does, it will set off a vicious internal dynamic within the party.

And so this, I think, will be the key issue over the next three weeks, as we build up to and then come out of the Republican convention: when does the CW defined by Broder -- the veritable pontiff of beltway CW -- start registering? If the polls change it may never, of course. But if not, when does the president start moving ahead in the polls? Can the GOP convention fundamentally shift the dynamic of the race? And, if not, when do the first signs of panic begin to appear within the president's ranks?

The GOP convention now seems like it'll be a much more high-stakes affair than the DNC.

The big story out of Florida over the weekend was the tragic devastation caused by Hurricane Charley. But there's another story from Florida that deserves our attention.

State police officers have gone into the homes of elderly black voters in Orlando and interrogated them as part of an odd "investigation" that has frightened many voters, intimidated elderly volunteers and thrown a chill over efforts to get out the black vote in November.

The officers, from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, which reports to Gov. Jeb Bush, say they are investigating allegations of voter fraud that came up during the Orlando mayoral election in March. [...]

I asked Mr. Morales in a telephone conversation to tell me what criminal activity had taken place.

"I can't talk about that," he said.

I asked if all the people interrogated were black.

"Well, mainly it was a black neighborhood we were looking at - yes,'' he said.

He also said, "Most of them were elderly."

When I asked why, he said, "That's just the people we selected out of a random sample to interview."

Back in the bad old days, some decades ago, when Southern whites used every imaginable form of chicanery to prevent blacks from voting, blacks often fought back by creating voters leagues, which were organizations that helped to register, educate and encourage black voters. It became a tradition that continues in many places, including Florida, today.

Not surprisingly, many of the elderly black voters who found themselves face to face with state police officers in Orlando are members of the Orlando League of Voters, which has been very successful in mobilizing the city's black vote.