Andy Borowitz reports on the latest developments with Osama bin Laden:
The White House claimed a major victory in the war on terror today as al-Qaeda kingpin Osama bin Laden revealed that he no longer knows where he is.
Mr. bin Laden, appearing on a tape broadcast by the Arabic-language al-Jazeera network, said that he had not known his location for months and blamed his current predicament on the Internet mapping site Mapquest.com.
“Those Mapquest fools provided me with a map that is next to useless,” a visibly angry bin Laden says on the tape. “All it tells me is where the nearest Applebee’s is.”
At least if he shows up to the RNC with a promotional pin, he'll get discounts on the Neighborhood Classic, Oriental Chicken Salad. See? Mapquest is good for something.
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